Say I Don't, Not I Can't
When you refuse, say I don't do that, which sounds like a firm choice, instead of I can't.
A few small experiments found I don't helped people hold to goals, but replications are limited and the effect on how others see you is less tested.
Why it works
I can't sounds like an outside rule you might bend if pushed. I don't sounds like a principle that belongs to you. People push less against principles.
How to do it
- Decide your real boundaries in advance: sectors, fee floor, timelines.
- Phrase each one as I don't or we don't.
- Add a short reason and, if you can, an alternative.
- Keep a calm, flat tone. No apology.
What to say
We don't take roles outside agriculture. That focus is why our shortlists are strong.
I don't discount the fee, but I can start with one role so you can judge the work.
Avoid
Saying I don't with a sorry tone or a long excuse. It turns the principle back into a weak can't.
Example
An HR head in Gurugram asked Priya to fill an IT role. She said: we don't take tech roles, we only do agri and food. I can introduce you to someone who does. He later gave her two agri sales roles.
Practise it
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