Strangers Are Friendlier Than You Predict
Talk to the stranger next to you; people expect it to go badly, and it almost always goes better.
Several field and lab experiments in one paper, with later work (Sandstrom & Boothby 2021) finding the same fear of rejection is overestimated.
Why it works
Commuters told to talk to a stranger had a nicer trip than those told to sit alone, yet predicted the opposite. Most people assumed the stranger would not want to talk; in fact nobody refused.
How to do it
- Pick one person per event and start, before you think about it.
- Use the setting as your first line.
- Give it three or four exchanges before judging.
- Note afterwards how it went versus what you feared.
What to say
Is this your first time at this show?
Have you tried the tea here? I am deciding whether to risk it.
Avoid
Waiting for the perfect clever line. The opening barely matters; starting does.
Example
On the Jaipur to Delhi Shatabdi, Ravi asked the man beside him about the tractor brochure he was reading. He turned out to be a dealer looking for a sales manager.
Practise it
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