Name Your Feeling in Your Head

Silently name what you feel in one word, like irritated or embarrassed, to lower its heat.

Solid evidenceLieberman, Eisenberger, Crockett, Tom, Pfeifer & Way, 2007 · Psychological Science, affect labeling

Brain imaging and later studies (Torre & Lieberman, 2018 review) find labeling lowers emotional response, though people do not expect it to.

Why it works

Putting a feeling into words calms the brain's alarm response. It also gives you a second to choose your reply.

How to do it

  1. Notice the body sign: heat, tight jaw, fast heart.
  2. Name it in one word.
  3. Breathe out slowly.
  4. Then speak.

What to say

(To yourself) Irritated.

(To yourself) That is embarrassment, not danger.

Avoid

Saying it out loud in an angry tone, like I am annoyed now. That is venting, not labeling.

Example

In a tense salary talk, a candidate called the offer an insult. Devendra thought, stung, breathed out, and asked what number felt fair.

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