Name Their Feeling Out Loud
When someone is upset, name what they seem to feel in a calm voice, then stay quiet and let them respond.
Labeling your own feelings has lab support; labeling another person's feeling is a negotiator's method with little direct testing.
Why it works
Hearing their feeling named shows you see them, and often calms them. It also slows the talk down.
How to do it
- Guess the feeling from their words and tone.
- Start with It seems or It sounds like.
- Pause and let them answer.
- Do not add but or a fix right away.
What to say
It sounds like you feel let down by the last agency.
It seems this delay has put you in a tough spot with your MD.
Avoid
Saying I know how you feel. It sounds like you are claiming their experience.
Example
A Nashik grape exporter shouted that candidates kept backing out. Devendra said, it sounds like you are tired of starting over. The exporter sighed, yes, and the talk turned practical.
Practise it
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