NVC: Observation, Feeling, Need, Request
Say what happened without judging, how you feel, what you need, and one clear request.
Popular worldwide; a few small studies exist but with weak designs, so treat it as practitioner method.
Why it works
Judgments make people defend. A plain observation and a clear request give them something they can actually do.
How to do it
- Observation: what a camera would record.
- Feeling: one word about you.
- Need: what matters to you.
- Request: a specific, doable action.
What to say
The report came two days after the date we fixed. I feel stuck, because I need it before the client call. Could you send it by Thursday 5 pm next time?
Avoid
Fake NVC: I feel that you are lazy. That is a judgment dressed as a feeling.
Example
Devendra's freelancer kept missing deadlines. Instead of scolding, he used the four steps on WhatsApp. She apologised and kept the next date.
Practise it
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