Read Interest From Answers, Not Just Body Language

Judge interest by what they say: longer answers, questions back and new details mean go on; short answers and looking away mean change course or exit.

Practitioner wisdomPractitioner advice; responses to conversational bids, Gottman & DeClaire, 2001 · The Relationship Cure

Sensible and widely taught; single body signals like crossed arms have little evidence behind them.

Why it works

Words and questions are clearer signals than posture. When someone turns towards your bids with more than a yes, they want to continue.

How to do it

  1. Notice answer length.
  2. Notice if they ask you anything back.
  3. Notice if they add new details.
  4. Two short answers in a row: change topic or exit.

What to say

I have kept you long enough. Shall we pick this up later?

You seem busy today. Should I call next week?

Avoid

Reading crossed arms as rejection. They might just be cold in the AC.

Example

A Bhopal agri-input CEO gave three one-word answers. Devendra offered to call next week. The CEO relaxed, said he had a board meeting, and set a time.

Practise it

Related